How survivors manage money

Money issues to consider:

Bank accounts. Open a new account in your name, at a new bank. Stash away small amounts of money bit by bit, switch your direct-deposit paychecks to the new account later on (assume that he may be watching the money), and then withdraw the money that you’re entitled to at the last minute before leaving. After you leave, use cash when you can, particularly with respect to transactions which give away a location.

Credit cards. Disentangle your credit history from his, so you’re not responsible if he goes on a spending spree out of spite. Use joint accounts only when necessary, because he can track your purchases and location: tell the credit card company that you’re no longer going to use his card, and them to give you a break on interest and late fees if any. Also, ask them for a new credit card and number, so he can't report it stolen and cancel the card on you. Get your own credit cards in your own name; contact the credit card companies and explain the situation, sending court orders and other documentation as needed; get them to block him from your data, to include password protection. Bill the accounts to a PO box or other address not known to the abuser.

Credit history. Beg for mercy. Tell your creditors, landlord, utilities etc about your situation, ask for a break on paying back (they may want to see proof that you’re in a jam, police reports, court reports, other documents etc – give them a copy of the restraining order perhaps). Get your credit report to see what you’re responsible for, www.annualcreditreport.com, (877) FACT-ACT, www.equifax.com ; watch accounts for odd activity. A credit counselor can help untangle your credit situation and joint accounts; a bankruptcy attorney can help untangle things even if you don’t go the bankruptcy route.

Things to do, to improve your credit history...
Stick to the same job and address.
Establish a bank account, even if it's a small one.
Get a phone in your name and pay it off on time.
Work with utilities to get into their budget plan if they have one.
Arrange a payment plan with creditors.
Beware that the abuser may try to ruin your credit.

Don't forget to square things away with insurers.

The abuser may try to get access to your financials. Here’s how to protect yourself.

Arrange a PO box to receive bills and other documents, and consider a mail-forwarding service (some states offer the services to DV survivors). Figure out who else should get a key to the box. You can also bill the account to a friend’s house temporarily.

Set up some sort of password-protection deal with their customer service folks if need be, for bank accounts and credit card accounts (phone accounts too), so the abuser doesn’t try to call in and get your account information. As we know, some of those customer service people are a bit under-trained, and it’s not impossible that a sweet-talking abuser can talk them into handing over your account activity.

If you share an online account with the abuser, or if he knows your passwords, then get new accounts or new passwords. Any account he knows about, close it as soon as you can. It’s not impossible for an abuser to hire a detective to try to track you through accounts you’re known to use.

One problem is that if you try to find a new place to live, the landlord will run your credit history, and the abuser may be alerted when that happens. You can avoid that by asking the landlord not to check your credit history while using the correct new address, or having a friend to the lease, or a co-signer.

Another problem is that when you cancel a service or do a change of address, the customer-service guy will promise you very sincerely that no confirmation letter will be sent to the old house, but then their computers automatically send one anyway. So depending on the situation: go ahead and ask them not to send the letters; don't bother with a change of address for the post office, using a PO box instead; don't bother to terminate tricky services like the internet and cable TV; change passwords on everything; and if the situation calls for it, go out and check the mail each day to ensure that some bonehead customer-service system didn't send you something anyway.

Acquire a one-time-use prepaid debit card at a retailer, and load it with as much money as you want.

Keep money with you always, and stash money in your escape bag.